Maybe I'm not Shy?
Growing up, I thought I was the shy girl. I was nervous in front of crowds, and if I was a group of people I wasn't comfortable with, I would get really quiet.
The first thing I decided to do was look up what the actual definition for a shy person was. According to dictionary.com, someone who is shy is "easily frightened away; timid". I guess from what I said before, it makes sense that I would be considered shy. Even in high school, a lot of people knew me as the quiet and shy girl.
People called me shy, so I must be shy, right? I mean what else could cause me to act the way I act at times.
I was in an Uber in NYC the other day, when an idea came to me. What if I wasn't shy? What if my anxiety causes qualities that could be misinterpreted as shy? Or, what if my shyness was actually caused by my anxiety. I was honestly shocked by my discovery.
I honestly don't know what made these ideas come to mind, but once the thought came to me, there was nothing else I could think about.
What if I lived my whole life (thus far) telling myself that I was a shy person, and that's why I was the way I was, when in actuality I wasn't? I delved into this topic a bit more.
I don't have an issue striking up a conversation with a complete stranger at the convenience store, and I don't mind giving book recommendations when I'm in Barnes & Noble, and someone asks me my opinion on a particular book.
Sometimes it's not like that though. I do have issues going to the gym by myself, and I even sometimes have trouble going to the store to run errands by myself. I get this irrational fear that eats me up. I know nothing is actually going to happen to me, but it's definitely a struggle to go by myself. I used to (and sometimes still do) beg my siblings to accompany me, when I go to run these errands.
I know it might seem so obvious to some people, but I had never considered the fact that I might not be "shy", or if I am, it might be the result of my anxiety. Are most people like this? Does their anxiety cause overthinking, which causes them to act shy?
I think I may have been lying to myself this entire time. While I may be shy at times, I think if I didn't have anxiety, I wouldn't be shy.
What do you guys think? I would love to know your thoughts down below in the comments! Thank you so much for reading. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. Sending you love, strength, and positivity!
-Melina xxx
This post resonates with me so much! I was always that girl in school who would never speak up in class, and only had a close knit group of friends. But now that I'm living abroad alone, the only thing that is holding me back from some opportunities is my anxiety. However, once I overcome the overthinking and the anxiousness, I'm usually fine! So I couldn't agree more with this ✨
Evie x | https://eviejayne.co.uk
I'm so glad you can relate with this post. This thought literally came out of nowhere, and I can't believe I haven't thought of it sooner! Thank you so much for reading and commenting Evie 🙂 xx
Great questions!!! For me, I think there is most definitely a relationship between my frequently experiencing anxiety whenever I have to deal with the outside world and the fact that I am quite reclusive. I also tend to over-think things ad infinitum rather than actually do things - like writing a post about past Halloweens on this Halloween instead of getting getting a costume together and going out somewhere.
Thank you for sending strength and positivity. That helps!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful post and comment. You always write such personal comments and it means the world to me to read your thoughts. Thank you for sharing and reading xxx
This is such an interesting way to look at it. I always classified myself at the "shy" girl growing up too. Its weird though, because as I started becoming less anxious about things, I didn't feel as "shy" anymore. Thinking about the two being connected, its definitely possible. This is a really great post and I'm so glad I read it!!
I don't know why it didn't hit me sooner. There are definitely people who are more quiet when they're not around people they know very well. But then there's people like me, who take shyness to a whole new level. The idea that they are connected, brought me this sense of...relief? I'm so glad you enjoyed reading the post! Thank you so much for reading and commenting Colleen 🙂 xxx
This is such an interesting post! I also used to be a shy person at school and when I was younger - I think I got a little bit better with time and when I lived away from my family and usual environment for my studies for three years, too. Yet, sometimes and in certain situations, I find myself feeling the exact same things as you, the nervousness, the overthinking, these kind of anxious thoughts crippling me and causing me to suddenly find myself back ten years ago as a shy kid and teenager. You're not alone in this, at all! <3 <3
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's felt like this! One of my commenters, KM, stated that shyness and anxiety are this neverending circle because they're intertwined, and it's so true! I'm glad you broke away from it! Thank you so much for reading and commenting Marie 🙂 xx
I think it is valid questions. I know my anxiety definitely causes some of my shyness. It is also a horrible circle, because they feed each other. Thanks for sharing this sweets! <3
I completely agree, the fact that they're so intertwined is actually kind of crazy. I really don't know how I never thought about this before. Thank you so much for reading and commenting KM xxx