would you avoid hardships if you could?

Wouldn't life be perfect if we didn't have any hardships? If we got out of bed in the morning and each of our lives were perfect. A life where we had exactly what we needed, and all we had to strive for was the things we didn't necessarily need, but what.

I read a quote in the book Angels and Demons, by Dan Brown, and I didn't realize how true it was, until I read it a few times. It was a simple quote, and yet it kept me up in the night wondering how true it was. "Pain is part of growing up. It's how we learn". Now, if you own the paperback version of this book, the exact quote can be found on page three hundred and five.

After reading it, I wondered, how much have I actually learned while being completely happy in my life? I searched and searched my mind, only to come to the conclusion that...almost every lesson I've ever learned was from a mistake or some sort of hardship in my life.

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Photo by Fátima Fuentes on Unsplash

Yes, along the way people have given me words of wisdom and advice to help me avoid extra hardship, and just learn from their mistakes. Most of the time though, the biggest lessons I've learned, have been through hardships I experienced.

Every hardship I've ever gone through, has been accompanied by wisdom and lessons that I would not have gotten unless I had gone through that experience.

blessings in disguise.

People have always said, you learn from your mistakes, and they are right. I just never considered the fact that there is very little learned from your successes. If you succeed, it's either because you got lucky or because you had the tools necessary to succeed in the first place.

Most people don't succeed at everything on the first try. It take multiple failures, or lessons along the way, to learn what needs to change in order to succeed.

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Photo by Franck CHARLES on Unsplash

At one point, I wanted to erase all the bad in my life, and keep only the good. I wish I had never gone through any of that. I've come to realize, that it would actually do me more harm than good. Everything I have gone through has been for a reason, and I wouldn't be the person I am now, without those hardships. I have learned so much because of those difficulties, and I am actually extremely proud of who I am. I am a better person because of them.

While going through the misfortune itself, I will feel terrible, upset, angry, or whatever negative emotion I feel. A few months from that point or maybe even a year, I always look back and say, "wow, I actually am so glad this happened in my life". No, I'm not glad that I suffered in any way (I am not a masochist), but when I realize how much those hardships made me happier, stronger, and wiser in the long-run, how could I not be happy that they happened?

window with rain on it, plants in front of the window, black and white photo
Photo by Artem Sapegin on Unsplash

How do you feel about hardships? Are you grateful that they happened in your life? Do you find that there are better ways to learn? Let me know in the comments down below!

I hope you have a wonderful day/night. Sending you love, strength, and positivity.

-Melina xxx

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10 comments

  • The Style of Laura Jane says:

    This is an interesting subject. There are some hardships I will never be able to properly appreciate for giving me any kind of benefit after. But I believe life is a combination of everything, and hardships are just as important as successes. I do believe I've learnt in both. When I'm happy, I realise what makes me happy (as weird as that sounds), I realise what success looks like to me and I see the beauty of life. Sometimes in a good place I feel connected to many years of my life, like seeing the beach as I did as a child. And then when I'm struggling, I develop in a completely different way. xxx

    Reply
    • Melina Elisa says:

      Thank you for giving me your views on it, as well as the personal thoughts you have had on it. It's really nice to see so many people read my thoughts on the topic, and get such lovely, open, and personal responses. it's moments like this, where I truly feel like a blogger, and that I have some sort of community. I write from the heart, and then people respond with not a word or two, but in sentences or paragraphs.
      It's true, there are things that make me happy and I realize that those happy moments to shape me to some extent. Thank you for reading and commenting Laura 🙂 xxx

      Reply
  • Panty_Buns says:

    You have a very balanced and healthy view of hardships.
    I have had a fairly long life and have experienced quite a variety of financial, emotional, and different varieties physical hardships at different times.
    I am NOT grateful for the nightly spankings in early childhood, for injuries, illnesses, for being kidnapped as a baby, or for the times I was romantically abandoned or rejected and severely depressed later. I did, however, end up being heterosexually masochistic, am very grateful for the painful spankings girlfriends gave me over the years and for all those memories - but those were not hardships. I am also grateful for the things I learned from dealing with real hardships. Some of them just sucked, but some of them made me stronger. I am also very grateful for all the many blessings in life I have enjoyed and consider myself luckier than most. I'd be even happier if I could overcome my physical ailments and, better yet, become young again. I wonder where the fountain of youth and the holy grail are?
    Best wishes for the remainder of year 2019 and beyond.

    Reply
    • Melina Elisa says:

      omg thank you so much for your thoughtful and open comment! I'm glad I got you thinking about this concept, and I really am flattered by the idea that you think I have a balanced view on it. One of the things that I didn't really think about was Mental Health, and whether that was a hardship that has done me good or not.
      Thank you so so much for reading and commenting xx

      Reply
  • lolitambonita says:

    I agree with you... I mean I don't think anyone enjoys hardships but they help you grow and learn as a person so they really arw an essential part of life!

    Lola Mia x

    Reply
    • Melina Elisa says:

      I'm glad you agree with me! Thank you so much for reading and commenting 🙂 x

      Reply
  • Zoë says:

    Personally I wouldn't change a single thing. I think all the hardships Ive been through have made me who I am today. However where does Mental Health come into this; for example I have depression and just feel really depressed a lot of the time, resulting in me just staying inside and crying. Does this count as a hardship? Is there a reason for it? Does it make me a "better" person? I love this post!! It really makes you think! xx

    http://zoe-ware.com

    Reply
    • Melina Elisa says:

      That's one thing that I have questioned after writing this post. Mental health is so hard, the ultimate difficulty, because it's something you either constantly deal with it, or it always comes back no matter how much you fight and have gone through it before. While I think with time I get better with dealing with it, it's still difficult the next time I start feeling the same way. It is a hardship, but I don't know if it's one I'm necessarily happy about. I think having a mental health issue gives me qualities that maybe someone that doesn't have MH problems might not have, but I honestly don't know. Great comment! Thank you so much for being so thoughtful and open xxx

      Reply